Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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