butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
