She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
