my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
