birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
