It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
