Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
