I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
it glows. i had to have it.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
How does it feel to date your dad?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
