I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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