they need to just BURY HIM!
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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