It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
