IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
