Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
