yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
