We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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