well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Randomize
