dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
whose ass print is on the piano?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
