tell your sister to shave her snatch
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
