Who did Billy Mays play for?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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