Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
