Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
