where does the pee come out of this thing
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
