Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
