Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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