My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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