it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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