just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
we're making bets on your personal life
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
