dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
how can u be prego again
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
