On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
