sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
