i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
