somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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