I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
