WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
