Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
