we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Randomize
