My first STD was from a foam party
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
She needs sedatives and a leash
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
