Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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