I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
