My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
