Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
