he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
