Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
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