I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
