I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
