dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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