I queefed so loud it echoed.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
