ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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