I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
