Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
