I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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