She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
