Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I have fence marks all over my body
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Randomize
